I am filled with a holy emptiness, fed by the unseen. The hunger of my belly wanes. It is day 9, and I slept at last, all night. In meditation the practice reveals itself. Inhaling the suffering and pain in the world, exhaling love and compassion. Breathe in, breathe out. The observer, my sentinel is ever present. I am at One. I surrender fully to my Beloved, to the lotus feet of my sat guru, my true and essential nature. Communion.
My awareness becomes more subtle, my energy more enduring. My mind giving way to gaps of nothingness. I feel the natural world in every cell of my body. As I walk the river with my Sara, the light on the water becomes the light in her eyes. The underlying patterns of relationship reveal themselves. I experience the composition of vibration that creates all worldly form. I am a child in wonder of existence.
I find my rhythm in this alchemical body. I feel the elemental forces silently at work within me. Earth, wind, fire, water, and ether. Together they create this divine vessel. In the midst of their transformative chemistry, I sit crossed legged, eyes closed, in the heart of my heart. I work with my medicines from the plant and mineral kingdoms, the animal totems, that have seen me through the most arduous of physical and emotional challenges. They carry me.
There is a stillness within me that is unchanging, a peace that is ever present. I hear, like a mantra, the beating of my own heart. I know that seeds are being planted in the darkness of my womb. These seeds are a portal to a life that is awaiting. I can see images faint and fleeting of traveling to distant lands… My vows are to serve all of humanity, to awaken divine consciousness, and create peace. I know that this process is an initiation, an ever deeper distilling of my own Being. I trust in this.
I walk with all of those who have gone before me, who have fasted, prayed, and meditated for the benefit of humanity. I take refuge in these great souls who knew that nothing is a sacrifice when it is a holy decree. I weep at the beauty and grace that has been my life. I am eternally grateful for all of the experiences that have illuminated the truth of my indwelling divinity. That have brought me to this moment of consecration.
Lead me from the unreal to the real,
from darkness to light, from death to
Om, santi, santi, santihi
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