Day 21

The immortal Self has claimed me… I Am home. I need look no further for my belonging. I am an embryo in the womb of creation. Fed by spirit. The imbilius is connected to the very source of my being. I am incubating.


I am half way through my 40 day fast.  One day moves into the next in a nearly timeless motion. I am aware of it passing only by the light that leaves the day and the dark that becomes the night. The instinctual part of myself wanes like a tired moon.  Its predominance becomes extinct. The small in me is made to dust. Only what is intrinsic remains, Silence. All has been stilled. Even my mind has surrendered to the fire. My body sheds itself, snake like. I shake it loose. I am in awe at the intelligence and divinity of my human form that perpetually recreates itself.


My beloved Lucy nourishes me through her devotional practice at the gathering of the Dances for Universal Peace.  People from all spiritual and religious traditions joined together to dance and sing, in honor of the sacred Oneness of creation.  I am placed in the center of the circle with the musicians. I sit wrapped in my initiation shawl, I close my eyes in meditation. Their words are sung in aramaic, hebrew, sanskrit, and a host of other languages. Ancient and enduring, they speak of God. Their bodies move in unison, their voices harmonize, their hearts and souls unite.  I feel the presence of the Divine, the love of the Goddess, and I weep spontaneously.  The goodness, compassion and beauty of humanity is overwhelming. I bow in reverence to those who have come to share their faith, to be a reservoir of spiritual nourishment. I drink it in.


It is night now and the air is cold.  I prepare my water with salt from the dead sea, and the oils of rosemary, eucalyptus, cypress, and juniper. The smell of the earth. I will put my head under the water and pray to the Bathroom Guru God.  I will pray on behalf of the suffering, I will pray for peace, I will pray for you.


santidevi