Becoming Water

In the narrows of the heart, I feel you caressing me whole.  Waking me from my sleep, I feel you next to me.  I find myself flowing through slot canyons, trickling vein fine, hardly visible.  I have become water.  My beloved, I shape shift into the elemental, bodiless and free.  The obstacles of fate have laid me bare, my bones turning white in the desert sun.  I ask myself, “what would santidevi do”?  Surrender, says the voice, surrender…

I curl into the fetal of the newborn, I wait for wings to feather.  There is nothing to do, nowhere to go. In the darkest womb there stirs life.  I am between worlds, not here, not there.  The umbilicus continues to nourish, even as I become ever more transparent.  I shed all that is not intrinsic to my being, purified once more in the fires of a karmic collision.  I do not bemoan, or pity, blame, or wallow, I rise.  I rise and accept what is with uncommon grace, even as torment knocks with vengeance at the door.  Who goes there, no one but myself.
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My love, am I nourishing the good, am I still at your feet?  I close my eyes and your luminous form appears.  My history is made with every thought, word, action.  The seeds I plant, the fruit I bear.  I am awake, and trembling.  My thinking mind is absorbed into the abyss of the moment, even desire loses it’s passion.  I am the instrument of your will, I am the devi that plays in the light.  What I deliver is not always well received, the truth submits to know one.  In the face of ignorance, truth alone is the sovereign that prevails.  Let me shine brightly my beloved, unearth me further still.  Let me shake loose that which tethers me to the laborious, the tedium of human life.  I want to fly…
santidevi